EXCUSELAND Is Your Comedy Escape From Reality. SPECIAL FEATURES:
IMAGE CRUNCH by Kurt Jacobs;
STRANGE WOOD by Randall Hess;
TOO MUCH COFFEE MAN (Reprint Cartoons) by Shannon Wheeler;
LA CUCARACHA (Reprint Cartoons) by LALO ALCARAZ.
Enjoy your orbit, and leave your fun prints all over the place.
Jordan Margolis and Excuseman engage in a battle of wits over authorship rights to the new novel, “Excuseman Only Tortures English”.
Good evening! Well, here we are a week later with Howard Fox’s newest COMICAL WEEK IN REVIEW – and it’s been quite a week for the news, hasn’t it? The really big news is the missing Malaysian airline that no one can seem to find. At this point, would it surprise anyone if the missing Malaysian airline pilot’s name wasn’t Rod Serling? But I tell ya, if a Kardashian was on the missing Malaysian flight, I guarantee you TMZ would have already found it…. The Wall St Journal reports the missing jet from Malaysia may have sustained flight for over 4 hours. Hey, shouldn’t you call your flight surgeon if that occurs?…. Big news in politics this week — Seems Colorado is reportedly making millions from pot sales — with Doritos coming in a close 2nd….In fact, in Colorado, it has a much different meaning when the weatherman announces the high for the day….Kim Jong-Un enjoys 100% ‘poll’ win, thus ending this season’s “North Korean Idol”…. During a Q & A in Austin, TX, Chelsea Clinton says she is “Obsessed with diarrhea.” Then a Carnival cruise is just for her…. The Right scares me. Some have gotten so extreme — they now get bent out of shape when MSNBC reports a jet aborted its take-off…. In the Crimea today, they voted to join Russia, while fans of The Who continue to join together with the band…..There’s big news in the entertainment world: TMZ says a Johnny Carson sex tape is being shopped to collectors. I’m sure this is not what he meant by coming into your bedroom every night…. Kim Kardashian was involved in a minor car crash yesterday in Beverly Hills. It turns out, when she bent over her ass hit a car….I understand Jay Leno hated to exercise, because every time he did chin-ups, he’d get stuck…. The other night, Miley Cyrus performed in skimpy undies after missing a costume change. If this was Russia, it would have caused a pussy riot….In libel case, judge deals blow to Nancy Grace. Who in turns offers it to Rob Ford…. People Magazine reports comedian/actor Tom Arnold loses over 100 Lbs. Geez, didn’t he do that once before just by getting rid of Rosanne?…. Angelina Jolie is set to undergo another preventative surgery. This time she will remove her lawyer who advised her to adopt….One of the big headlines this week was that “Joan Rivers has sunk to a new low” – Guess that last facelift didn’t last long….I tell ya, I’m upset I’m not on Lindsay Lohan’s list. Fuck her!…. The other day was National PI Day. In layman’s terms, the Greek letter “π” is the symbol used in mathematics to represent a constant — the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter. In other words, Chris Christie…. But you know — I loved watching the Three Stooges pi fights. Though it just never added up. And one time at college, there was this math geek who left his dorm room, saying he was just going out to find some pi. He never returned….Then on Friday we also had National Steak and BJ day. Otherwise known as “Eat The Meat” day….Did you hear the wild story about an Oregon couple dials 911 after their 22 pound cat holds them hostage in bedroom. Now who’s the big pussy here?…. A new study says robots may take half of America’s jobs in the next decade. Before you know it, we’ll all be talking binary…. In NYC, a woman complains there was a lizard in her $6 salad. The manager laughed it off saying, “Big deal — I’ve got one in my pants”…. In the U.K. cops close street in hunt for man’s severed penis after he was involved in an altercation. Just another reason to ban cock fighting….Just got off the phone with my mom. She makes me feel like Van Gogh – because every time I speak to her on the phone, she talks my ear off…..And that’s this week’s COMICAL WEEK IN REVIEW! Hope you had a few good laughs.
Engineers at Bell Labs’ “Experimental Prototype Information Inter-Web Research Division” are seen here performing the complicated studies and delicate design work that will lead, eventually, to the fully-functional and advanced internet which we know today. Ernest Biddeford and Henry March Turpington, associate engineers, are testing out the newly connected televideo data retrieval equipment, while in the foreground Dr. Wilfred H. Milhouse–head of the Division–observes on the primitive monitor screen as the computing power of 11,500 vacuum tubes and 6100 megawatts of electricity gradually bring into focus the long-awaited first glimpses of dwarf-on-dwarf porn.(STRANGE WOOD by Randall Hess)
Good evening! Well, here we are a week later with Howard Fox’s newest COMICAL WEEK IN REVIEW – and it’s been quite a week for the news, hasn’t it? Did anyone see the Oscar’s last Sunday? Geez, that broadcast felt longer than 12 Years A Slave…. What a week it’s been on the international front. The Pope opens door to same-sex unions. Make that the back door. But you know….in Russia, the people are so happy they’ve invaded Crimea, they’re been heard singing “Putin on the Ritz”…. Would you believe President Vladimir Putin has been nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize? That’s like Hitler saying he enjoyed his days as a Catskills comic…China says its military will respond to all provocations. OK, OK — you can keep using MSG…. Toronto wants to rid themselves of Mayor Rob Ford. Not a good idea! I don’t know how a city like that could survive without a snow blower…today is the beginning of Daylight Saving Time. So I wouldn’t forget last night, I’ve moved my clocks forward before bed. Now they keep falling off the shelf….”Son of God” comes in #5 at the b.o. this weekend. As expected, it got crucified…last Tuesday was National Pancake Day — Otherwise known as Fat Tuesday. For Chris Christie, that’s just another day…. And in New Jersey, Dove soap offends the state by calling it “The armpit of America.” Residents are up in arms….I stopped in St. Patrick’s Cathedral on Fat Tuesday to take in the grandeur, and a priest slapped ashes on my forehead. I said, “I’m sorry for crossing you up”…did you hear, that customers hate Olive Garden’s new logo, saying it leaves a bad taste in their mouth. No, that’s the food…at the CPAC Conference, Donald Trump remembers the “Late Jimmy Carter.” Nothing scares me more than Trump possibly being right…Ted Turner is admitted to the hospital for observation. Doctor’s said he looked pale and could use some colorization…scientists revived a giant virus that was buried in Siberian ice for 30,000 years. My worst fear isn’t that it wipes out life as we know it on earth — but that Larry King survives to host another show…took her a while, but Rihanna finally learned never to play blackjack with Chris Brown — because every time she said “hit me” he would….NASA warns a bus sized asteroid will buzz earth today, but retracted that statement when they realized it was Chris Christie up on his roof….Miami police have released video of Justin Bieber urinating in a cup. Last time, it was just a drop in the bucket…did you hear that man loses 56 lbs on McDonald’s only diet — Ironically he’s now spending his last days at the Ronald McDonald House…did you know, that oday is Barbie’s birthday? She hasn’t changed one bit in 55 years. Oh wait, that’s Joan Rivers…and that’s this week’s COMICAL WEEK IN REVIEW! Hope you all had a few good laughs!
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